Momís Teachings



"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."


She taught us RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."


She taught us about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"


She taught us LOGIC:
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."


She taught us FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."


She taught us IRONY:
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."


She taught us about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."


She taught us about CONTORTIONISM:

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"


She taught us about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."


She taught me about WEATHER:
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."


She taught us about HYPOCRISY:
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"


She taught us the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."


She taught us about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"


She taught us about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."


She taught us about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until we get home."


She taught us about RECEIVING:
"You are going to get it when you get home!"


She taught us about MEDICAL SCIENCE:
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."


She taught us ESP:
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"


She taught us GENETICS:
"You're just like your father."


She taught us about our ROOTS:
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"


She taught us about WISDOM:
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."


And my personal favorite: My mother taught me about

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just
like you.Ē