Conversation about how people are related often bogs down over terminology, particularly when it comes to classifying cousins. For instance:
Other often misunderstood terms:
Contributed by Maxine Erwin George, Topeka, Kansas
The following exchanges were taken off of actual police car videos around the country:
· “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.”
· “If you take your hands off the car before I tell you to I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
· “So you don’t know how fast you were going. That means I can write anything I want to on the ticket?”
· “Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think that it will help. Oh...did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
· “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step on monkey doo-doo.”
· “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a dog or a cat?
· “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.?
· “No Sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now I can write as many tickets as I want to.”
Tips For Rednecks
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Try to identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It’s considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it’s time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you’re certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home.
6. Always offer to bait your date’s hook, especially on the first date.